it's time to let go.

i have decided. it's time to let go of him.

i can no longer stay in a relationship where all that is left is just hurt and betrayal.

i cant afford to hurt him again. even if we do patch things up together again, it will be still the same. both parties aren't satisfied with each other no matter how much we try to please each other.

maybe we are just not compatible. maybe we are not fated to be together.

i do know that we had done lots of things together and imagined having a life together. however, sometimes we just have to know when to let go for the benefit of both.

i love you but i can't let you suffer being with me.

hopefully you will find a better girl that suits you best.

I'm sorry for everything that i had done.

and thks fr the mmrs.

i will always cherish those memories.

and i will always remember that you were the guy whom i had loved the most in my life.

-mel-

advice.

this morning, i asked my dad a question.

"it's not good to blame yourself for everything right?"

his answer?

"you're having another relationship problem huh?"

smart daddy.

he told me that obviously it's not good because you are being overly critical about yourself. and this will cause your confidence level to go down, which spells DISASTER.

so, what should i do then?

his answer?

"change what you can, and if that's not satisfactory enough, just let it be. make sure your opinion about yourself never changes no matter what."

well...

currently, im still struggling to rip off my emo "hood" that has dampened my spirits since God knows when.

it will take time.

but how long?

-today the sunlight has parted the gloomy clouds in the sky. the sky looks clear yet not clear enough.
then, i realized that there is still some hope in me left.-

-mel-

random.

my smiles feel fake today.

the reason?

to hide my misery.

am i depressed?

i dunno.

im always blaming myself for everything.

im losing my confidence.

the words "sad, miserable, guilty, depressed" are my mantras these days.

maybe im feeling this due to yesterday's argument.

maybe my period is coming.

i dunno.

life has just gone bitter for me these days.

today, i realized the the sky is gloomy.
just like me.

-mel-