Submerged.

Credits to deviantart.

For once, I don't really know what to write. Or maybe I'm just focusing on shit instead of remembering to shine (Credits to siyan).

Shit? I have plenty academically. After a strenuous two-week oil-burning session, shit practically hits the fan in the form of my marketing paper. Oh, how I hate it so so so much.

Then, the assignments in my pending list. Being entrenched in the business semester for too long kinda made my psych side go into an extended leave, which I'm forcing it to return back to my memory ASAP.

Other than that, I guess life's just a slow stream trickling down the windy path surrounded by sunshine and the occasional clouds. It's slow, yet when it reaches that sharp turn, it suddenly speeds up again, only to slow down back to its.. well, slow state. However, there's this nagging voice in me telling me to start taking action into certain areas, e.g my moderately excessive cussing. No, it has nothing to do with influence or whatsoever, just that I kinda subconsciously cuss.. Maybe it's just me covering up stuff, but hey, cussing excessively is never good, especially for girls.

Then, there's that metaphorical clam shell surrounding my heart. Not that I want it to be like that, it's just I'm.. like that. Kinda tedious feeling ya know. Not a nice thing at all. For once, I just wanna dissolve that clam shell and voila! Free-spirited me unleashed! If that happens, it's gonna be very, very liberating.

I kinda feel something's missing somewhere. I just need to find that missing piece to complete the puzzle.

Of clubbing, lost earrings and a stolen handphone.

This post will be pictureless to mourn the passing of my handphone in a filthy pickpocketer's hands.

I sooo despise KTM now.

Anyway, I had my first experience in clubbing this Thursday and it was a blast. Despite its very-last-minute-planning-with-unexpected-delays moments, that experience was worth every single penny. I finally had my dancing fix after ages of not dancing. I admit, my dancing was really rusty till the extent that I forgot my signature "gerudi" move (nicknamed by my bezzy, Jeru). However, all concerns were out of the window with the fab music that shook me to my very bones.

On the other hand, I got to see the darker side of clubbing which kinda freaks me out till this day. When alcohol-induced guys come and try to hit on you, it's not so nice. Yes, I've heard about this being normal and all but it feels very unreal.

Then..my earrings. I took them off because they were quite a burden during my dance sessions especially when I'm sweating buckets. I sweat easily and added with the crowded dancefloor plus the thumping beats.. you get what I mean. Never expected that it would be the last time I saw them again. (And I thought I put both of them in my pocket!)

My handphone..... was stolen. Some bloody bastard just came into the train, and quickly went off before the doors were closed. Plus, I was standing near the entrance. So...yeah. I wish that *tooot* will burn in hell.

I need to get a new number and phone soon. Till that happens, my mood's gonna be kinda sallow. Added with a few affairs at heart, it's gonna be tough.

The to-do list.

Credits to DeviantArt.

>I feel like shit today. Insomnia loves me.<

1. Learn how to drive to college, 1u, MV etc.

2. Start studying for management and marketing.

3. Start printing the internal outline and READ it for once.

4. Try to regain my appetite so that I won't faint because of not eating properly.

5. Try to sleep properly, sleepless nights will kill me soon.

6. DANCE! I EFFING MISS HAVING A BLAST ON DANCE FLOORS.

7. Need more hugs and give more hugs.

8. Bunk over in a friend's place for one day.

9. Drink. Yes, drink.

10. Cut down on my coffee intake.

11. Satisfy my cupcake cravings. That's the only food that I didn't lose interest in.

I feel like a thousand rope knots squeezed into a very tiny plastic bag. Haih.

Simplified in poetry.

I have this habit of writing random poems/stuff when I'm waiting for someone or just plain bored. This habit intensifies when my heart tends to be bothered with issues that I only know of. The following stuffs were written today around 5.40pm to 6.00pm with me sitting at the stairs outside KPDA. 

i. Occupations.

If my eyes are camerapersons, they would have taken so many pictures of the environment, no matter how shabby it is. Because beyond the exterior, lies a wonderful story caught in the moment.

If my heart is a painter, it would have painted 1001 emotions in my daily life's blank canvas. From bright colors of magenta and orange, to sombre colors like midnight blue and grey.

If my senses are investigators, they would have explored and investigated every nook and cranny in any object/human they could find to unravel the raw truth. Talk about digging gold in a barren wasteland.

If my ears are music producers, they would have channeled the random sounds from my surroundings, combined them with the falsettos of my heart and composed them into a beautiful song that echoes around the precipes of my mind.

If my mouth is a radio DJ, it would update its listeners with the endless arguments between my mind and my heart that have to offer.

ii. Letters hidden beneath randomness.

I wanna sleep.

Flowers are pretty.

Elephants are wise.

Enrich point from MAS are so overrated.

Legs are sexy when they are lean.

Lean bodies rock.

Icings in cupcakes are my loves.

Katherine McPhee has a very soulful voice.

Everybody knows but nobody REALLY knows.

Cats are adorable.

Rats are disgusting yet smart.

Yay for final exams (Aprilfool's coming, so can't help it).

Inside out, round and round.

NANA is a rock-inspired anime which deserves much credit with its songs itself.

God gave our souls wings to fly, but how much do we appreciate those wings that gave us freedom?

iii. Two words.

A struggle.

With emotion.

A tear.

Being stubborn.

A past.

Not unforgettable.

A contact.

Physical attraction.

Hidden feelings.

Always resisting.

Never fading.

Always questioning.

Forever smiling.

No ending.

A battle.

Heart, mind.

Who wins?

God knows.

-mel-